Pearly Whites
by Reverberating Winds
Summary: Sometimes, it takes a routine dentist appointment to bring people together. But that doesn't mean it's a good idea to flirt while on Vicodin. AxI
1. Chapter 1

Normally, Sir Integra didn't mind Alucard's presence. That chilly morning in late January, he hovered near her desk the way he always did, so Integra took advantage of his relaxed state and casually mentioned to him that she had scheduled a dentist appointment for him, for that morning.

This wouldn't have been a problem for a normal person, but for a vampire like Alucard, who lacked any ounce of humility and was obsessed with his precious pearly whites, a dentist appointment was a cataclysmic event. Last time, they tried at-home dentistry, and…well, Alucard wouldn't sit still and Walter's wires drew blood. Alucard didn't mind blood, hell, he loved blood, but something about people messing with his teeth gave him the ultimate case of the heebie jeebies.

"An appointment? _What_?" Alucard spat, caught off guard by Integra's nonchalant tone.

Integra tuned out Alucard's desperate negotiations to get out of the appointment while she packed her purse.

"Master, it is highly unpleasant for others to handle my precious mouth, one of my many trusty weapons," Alucard flashed her a wide but humorless grin to prove his point. "For you, it would be the equivalent of seeing the gynecologist."

Ah, he had pulled a pathos on her. Wait…

For a moment, Sir Integra had no reaction to his little comment—she couldn't quite believe he had just said that to her. She considered dousing him in garlic powder or shooting him or kicking his shins (oh, he _hated _that) but the poor vampire was on edge enough as it was. Integra thought it best for the entire household, and the dentist—he didn't need to deal with a riled up vampire— that she bite back her pride and let his comment slip, just this once.

"Go to hell." Integra said flatly.

"Been there, done that." Alucard muttered.

"Should've stayed there, then." Integra tut-tutted. "Perhaps the dentists there are better suited to deal with terrible patients like you." She rose from her high backed chair and headed for the doors. "Your appointment is in half an hour. Come along, Alucard."

"I'm not going." He grumbled.

"You most certainly are going. It is an _order_."

"What are they going to do to me this time?" he asked in a scathing tone.

"Nothing more than a quick check-up," Integra reassured as she accommodated herself in the front seat of the vehicle. Alucard didn't catch the vague upward twitch of her lip. She lied, of course. If Alucard knew what the dentists—well, the surgeons—would be doing to him today in the commonplace procedure of wisdom teeth removal, he would have quite literally flipped a shit and massacred London.

Alucard, for a—a monster, was remarkably moody. Some days he sulked in the shadows and others he braved the sunlight and accompanied Sir Integra on boring errands such as quick runs to Tesco. He had a dark sense of humor, naturally, but he had his goofy moments on his better days.

"Wait a minute." Alucard went rigid. "If Walter can fix my teeth, then why am I going to the dentist?"

Ah, shit.

"Because, Alucard, you are a threat to Walter's well being every time we attempt homemade teeth cleaning. And because you refuse to sit still for a single moment, we will have professionals see to your needs today." Integra said as she clambered out of the car.

There had no waivers to sign, as Integra had already taken care of that so that Alucard would not become suspicious so soon—considering how often he watched her do paperwork, it was a miracle he didn't catch her signing the medical papers. Ever prepared, Integra had long informed the surgeons that Alucard was a supremely difficult patient and did not do well under general anesthesia—something about it made him much sicker than it should've. Last time they had to use it on him he slept for four days straight, waking only to vomit and take his medications. Integra wasn't heartless enough to put him through that again, so she had carefully specified other drugs to sedate him.

The nurses called him back and the trio went in with him. Alucard histrionically threw his body into the blue chair and pouted, refusing to make conversation with oral surgeons cleverly disguised as dentists despite their big smiles and genuine interest in his hobbies.

Then again, it was better that he said nothing.

Integra felt relieved that all seemed to be going as planned until Alucard abruptly sat up and caught a glimpse of the hammers, scalpels, and picks that would be deep inside his mouth.

"Now, Walter!" Integra shouted.

With those well-honed reflexes, Walter jammed the needle into a big vein on Alucard's arm and shot the sedative into his bloodstream. He writhed around in the chair for a few seconds until the medicine kicked in and he went limp. Even though Alucard was awake, he was a bit foggy-headed and had neither the motivation nor the coordination to move around much.

Integra propped a lengthy novel in her lap and tuned out the drilling and the hammering and all that. And then something brushed her leg. Integra ignored it. But it came again.

Reluctantly, she looked up to see Alucard's gloved hand swatting at her knee, fingers stretched out desperately. Integra rolled her eyes and gently struck his hand away, but it came back, persistent.

She wanted to ask what his problem was, but seeing how he had his jaw propped open by some feat of engineering and countless pieces of machinery in his mouth at the time, he'd not be able to respond without slashing a piece of his tongue off. Alucard watched her out of the corner of his eye and his endeavors to touch her knee continued.

Integra meant to scoff in annoyance, but it came out as a mirthless giggle. She brusquely grabbed around Alucard's long, spindly fingers, but as soon as their hands made contact, he clamped down at once with all of his fingers, drawing a gasp of resent from his master. Integra bit her lip the way she always did in times of annoyance or distress. This was…uncalled for.

Alucard had been shot and stabbed and beheaded countless times. He was much too old to be holding someone's hand during a routine medical procedure.

Even worse, every time Sir Integra tried to wriggle out of Alucard's grasp, he gave her a single squeeze that sent a twinge of warmth all the way up Integra's arm. She wanted to frown, to show her frustration, but each time she tried to scowl a smile ended up sneaking onto her face. And now she bit her lit not out of anger but embarrassment as she hid a cloying smile. To think that medicine could make Alucard so sweet, so docile.

She cleared her throat in the most elegant way possible and inched forward in her seat, letting Alucard's hand rest on her knee instead of dangle in midair. More comfortable for both of them.

After a while, the last tooth was out. Knowing Alucard, he'd like to see his big, bloody wisdom teeth, and Integra requested to keep them.

In the meantime, Walter held ice packs to Alucard's jaw while a nurse stuffed wads of gauze in his mouth. Rendered complacent by the sedatives and other drugs, Alucard simply sat there, staring into space.

"How are you feeling?" Integra asked, finally wriggling out of his grasp.

"Do I…" Alucard lifted his hands and patted his cheeks, completely mystified by what he felt. "Do I have a face?"

"Yes." Integra said firmly. She exchanged glances with Walter. Alucard had been drugged pretty well.

"Good." Alucard said stoutly. He grimaced slightly.

"Look what I have," Integra said, holding out the clear container of his wisdom teeth, in hopes that it would entertain him for a while.

He stared blankly. "What _are_ those things?"

"They're your wisdom teeth." Walter said in a soothing, sweet tone that he only reserved for children and certain post-operative vampires.

"My…teeth?" Alucard mumbled. He tapped his front teeth and frowned slightly. Now, Alucard normally had a pallid complexion, but the color he turned at that moment was not dissimilar to the color of a cadaver. He suddenly looked horrified, and, much to Integra's utter alarm, near tears.

"I can't feel my teeth. Where are my teeth?" He said urgently.

"They're in your mouth, Alucard. Where else would they be?" Integra replied.

"No, they're not." Alucard said fiercely. He bared his teeth and pointed. "I can't eat people anymore. I can't…" Alucard trailed off as his breathing become choppy.

Not a grown ass man/vampire, nope, not today. It was the medication talking, but Integra just couldn't handle emotional wrecks.

"No, no, Alucard," Integra said hastily, firmly holding his shoulder against the chair. He had tried to lean forward in what she surmised was an attempt to assume a fetal position. "Your teeth are just fine." And, whispering so that others wouldn't hear, "You can still eat people. Isn't that a treat?"

By now, Walter, had gracefully bowed out of the situation and watched, smiling reservedly, as Integra tried to reason with the drugged up Alucard.

"I have _nothing_ anymore." He said weakly. "Sir Integra, I am no longer of use to you."

"Everything is all right, Alucard." Integra said in a low, firm tone. She awkwardly massaged his shoulder.

Alucard shook his head in utter despair, refusing to make eye contact with Integra. To illustrate his point, he combed his bangs over his entire face. Integra heaved a sigh and gingerly patted his back. In truth, Alucard had the gall, strength, and cunning to use his vulnerability as a chance to bite into Integra's viscera right then. Integra decided to push that thought aside and wait, with her strained patience, as Alucard came to his senses.

"Never mind." He said under his breath. "I have teeth. They very…pointy." Alucard prodded his fangs as if he hadn't had them for well over five hundred years. Integra tenderly lowered his arm into his lap.

"That's right." Integra said, stepping back. She looked to Walter. "Shall we go?"

Alucard couldn't quite walk straight, so Walter and Integra each had him by the arm on the way out to the car. Almost as soon as Alucard stretched himself across the back seat, he was out cold.

"Well!" Walter said, initiating conversation. "Alucard was rather tame today."

"I suppose." Integra said around a fat cigar.

"He's in another world right now." Walter chuckled, briefly glancing at Alucard. "Poor thing."

"He's going in his coffin as soon as we arrive." Integra said dryly. "I cannot be bothered to deal with a drugged up vampire at this time."

"Oh, no, that won't do." Walter said mildly. "We don't know when the drugs will wear off and it would be frightening to wake in absolute darkness, given his condition. He should sleep in a more familiar place for now."

"Like?" Integra prompted.

"Wherever your scent is particularly strong. He knows you better than any of us." Walter said tacitly.

Integra snorted in dissent. He didn't know her _that _well. He mainly loitered in her office, to the point where it was almost criminal. But that hardly meant a thing.

"…Perhaps your office or your bedchamber would make a nice temporary place of rest."

"Walter…" Integra groaned.

He had a point, though. Alucard had a habit of lingering in her office, as a shadow or bat or himself. When he was a bat, Alucard screeched intermittently just startle her enough so she would fall out of her chair—it got her every damn time. It was also hilarious—at least to him—to swoop down and watch her slow (human) reaction to a flying bat. As a shadow, Alucard cast the silhouette of phallic objects and various other highly disturbing things on the walls while Integra, deliberately displeased (she didn't want to laugh at such dumb things), rolled her eyes. And when he was vampiric…well, he sometimes sifted through her paperwork. And by now, Alucard knew how to nick a few or her cigars without being detected.

Alucard, whether he realized it or not, would do anything for attention. And Integra was stingy.

"He's seeing stars, Sir Integra. Be nice." Walter chided. "He'll be in considerable pain for the next week or so. Given all he's done, it's a simple gesture that will make him feel comfortable. And it's only until the medications wear off."

Integra's left hand, still warm and tingling from Alucard's clutched, suffered a slight spasm.

* * *

><p>To be continued. Reviews are always appreciated.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

In the rather long time it took to drag Alucard from the back seat of the car to Integra's bedroom, he blabbered on about strange things and professed his deep hatred for the color blue.

"I just…I don't know about the color blue." He said in an awed tone. "It is the color of the sky and water and other large things. I don't know. Do you know, Master? You're wearing blue. It suits you. You have blue eyes. May I touch them?"

In the meantime, Integra and Walter discussed where to put him.

"Your office faces east. He won't appreciate the sunlight." Walter pointed out.

"But…" Integra paused, as Alucard's knees had just decided to give out and he now sat on the floor, laughing quietly at himself. She tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear and sighed a long, forlorn sigh.

"Your scent is strongest in your bedchamber." Walter said reasonably.

"Yes, but I can't have a—a vampire in his condition," Integra gestured vaguely to Alucard, who picked at the floor intently. "He's unpredictable at the moment."

"That is exactly why he should be in your room." Walter said with a terse smile. He hated repeating himself, now that age had worn his patience down. "Familiar things will soothe him. And it's only for a short time."

"Fine." Integra huffed.

Upon stepping into her bedroom, Integra became acutely aware that she hadn't bothered with the upkeep of her room in quite a while. And Walter was the butler, not the maid. Her bed hadn't been made in weeks and used clothes were slung around the posts of the bed, with brassieres pinned between the drawers of her dresser. And the ashtray, overflowing with cigars, not to mention suitcases from months ago open and abandoned on the floor. Haphazard stacks of books and papers on the floor and on the desks, her personal laptop open on the bed with the and a graveyard of teacups and bottles of beer and whiskey. Hell, Integra nearly tripped over a pair of shoes. God.

Together, they coaxed Alucard onto the bed.

Integra felt queasy as she watched her vampire accommodate himself on the plushy mattress. He frowned and mumbled something unintelligible before plucking Integra's pillow from her side of the bed and promptly claiming it as his own.

"That's…my pillow." Integra said flatly. For once, she had no idea what to do. Technically, it was a burglary, but Alucard was too drugged up to even know what he was doing. And this became evidently when he suddenly took a deep sniff of the pillow, relinquishing a moan of relief.

"It is. But not now." Alucard replied calmly.

Now that he was in bed, Alucard had stopped moving around, which gave Integra a chance to observe him. She had never seen anyone so out of it in her entire life. Alucard's eyes roved the walls and the floors and blankets and now, his gaze fell on her.

He drew breath to speak but Integra cut him off.

"Go to sleep." Integra commanded.

"Coffins are comfortable but restrictive," Alucard said in a tone that suggested that he was talking to himself.

"Sleep. Now." Integra seethed.

"Sir, yes, sir." Alucard said with an glib, uncoordinated, poorly executed salute.

Once he crossed his arms over his chest (hugging her pillow to his chest), he was out. Integra pulled the covers up to his chin while reaching into her pocket for the pistol she would use to kill herself as punishment for treating him like a human. Still, she leaned over to fluff his pillows.

Not a peep out of him. Last thing she saw was Alucard drifting into a part of mind so deep that he had no need to chatter about his struggles with life under the effects of drugs.

Without making eye contact with Walter, she dashed out of her room and made a beeline for her office.

###

Integra retired to her bedroom promptly at midnight. She eased the door open and stepped into the darkness, softly closing the door behind her. The contracts and letters and invitations she had perused without rest for the past ten hours seemed to have been ground into her eyes—each time she blinked, Integra saw letters and winding sentences against a blinding white piece of paper. She considered changing into her pajamas, but then she noticed Alucard had woken up, and sat on the bed, listlessly staring at Integra.

"Are you coherent yet?" Integra smirked.

"I feel…_strange_." Alucard's bright eyes narrowed in suspicion. He warily touched his jaw and sucked in a breath through clenched teeth in surprise at the pain. He frowned and looked up at Integra, awaiting an explanation.

"You really don't remember?" Integra snickered. She handed him the container of his wisdom teeth, now stained brown with dried blood.

Alucard's first reaction was to check to make sure the rest of his teeth were intact, as he needed them to live. But really, he was simply proud of how sharp and straight and white they were—he smiled to intimidate _and _dazzle. Though it had neither effect on Integra.

"Molars?" Alucard asked, puzzled, jiggling his wisdom teeth. "You had my _molars_ removed, Master? Are you serious right now?"

He cringed as he felt around his mouth with his tongue. He shuddered violently in disgust when he felt the tips of the stitches.

"Wisdom teeth." Integra corrected. They've been in your mouth for over five hundred years. About time to get them out, yes?"

"Hmph. Hurts like a bitch." Alucard grumbled, lowering at her. Then he half smiled and chanted, "You told me it was a routine appointment. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Never thought you would stoop so low, Master."

Integra resisted an eye roll.

"It was for the good of the dentists, Walter, you, and me." Integra said earnestly. "Now. On to important matters. First off, Alucard, I forbid from leaving this manor until five days after today. You may be a vampire but you are not impervious to hemorrhaging and such maladies that we cannot deal with. Second, I regret to inform you that won't be able to eat anything solid for a while."

Alucard smiled (the best he could, given his condition) tautly, mirthlessly, and folded his arms, waiting for more restrictions.

"I know you're not particularly fond of a blood diet alone, but it will have to do." Integra said apologetically.

"Would it be so difficult to simply puree some body parts for me?" Alucard asked petulantly.

The longer she looked at Alucard, the more she wanted to laugh. The swelling had already begun, since he hadn't bothered with icing his cheeks all day, choosing to sleep instead. Now, he looked like a demented chipmunk.

"We are not using the only juicer in the manor for that, Alucard." Integra said sternly. She coughed to stifle a laugh. "By the way, I expect you to take your pain medications as directed by the prescription."

"As you wish, Master." Alucard murmured.

She lifted the down covers and slipped into bed. Although Integra had worked all day long, she suddenly felt light and charged with energy. Or was it mild fear? After all, she had a vampire right next to her.

"I'm going back to sleep." He said under his breath, collapsing back onto the mattress.

"Your coffin is in the dungeon." Integra said coldly. She maintained balance at the very edge of the bed.

He murmured something about her bed being more comfortable and ended the conversation by rolling onto his side and burying his face in Integra's pillow. Well, then. Alucard may have been a vampire, but he didn't always act like one. She would have expected his kind to sleep like the dead, meaning that they would not move around in slumber. But Alucard slept 'artistically', moving around throughout the night. Which explained why Integra woke at some point in the night with his elbow in her back.

In the dead hour, Integra woke to an eerily numb, tingling arm because Alucard had somehow managed to pin it under his shoulder. Enough of that. Integra landed a rather charitable kick to his side, drawing a long groan of pain from him as he retracted his arm and draped it over his chest.

Back to bed.

Sun spilled into her bedroom the next morning. Tuesday, January fifteenth. Integra rolled onto her other side and filled her lungs with the chilly, sweet smelling air of her bedroom. She cracked an eye open and instinctively tensed up at seeing the vampire still in bed next to her. Then she panicked because he was headless—but then Integra noticed that Alucard, in a noble effort to avoid the morning sun that crept through the curtain's cracks, had stuffed his head inside a pillow. Ingenious.

"Good morning." Alucard said from inside the pillow.

"Likewise." Integra responded, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She reached for her glasses on the bedside table but found them missing. Odd. But too much to handle right now, as she had only been conscious for thirty seconds.

"Did you sleep well?" Alucard asked conversationally. He finally withdrew his head from the pillow and gazed at Integra as intently as he could, given the hour. He put a brave face on that morning, but Integra, even without her glasses, could see the grimace settling on his countenance.

"Not particularly." She said frankly. "How are you feeling today?"

Alucard shrugged, but said nothing. Too much pain to hold a real conversation.

"Take the medicine." Integra growled. "You'll feel much better."

Alucard huffed and popped the pill, swallowing without a sip of water and turned to Integra once again—but Integra had already closed the bathroom door behind her.

###

A vampire deprived of his favorite foods and a workaholic deprived of her glasses. Add a couch, bad television, and pain medication.

With a monogrammed towel spread on his lap to catch his drool and ice packs pressed to his cheeks by folded up cloth that tied at the top of his head, Alucard sat in silent misery. He didn't understand why human medications had such crippling side effects on him. A damn vampire whose mouth hurt so much he could neither close nor open it, saliva dripping off his chin. And the painkillers, well, they were just as unpleasant, because they brought an onslaught of nausea and drowsiness.

"If you were not my Master, Integra, I would take your life and then take mine." Alucard muttered.

"Enough with the melodrama." Integra said coolly, glancing at her vampire. "It's only a bit of pain, considering your teeth were just ripped from the bone. Other than that, how do you feel?"

"Like absolute shit." Alucard spat.

"It's your fault for not reading the prescription guidelines." She retorted. "Some pills are meant to be taken with food."

Three thirty in the afternoon and no sign of Integra's glasses, even though the entire household (the two people who were not incapacitated) had searched for them. By now, she had a headache and itched to get work done. But she couldn't. Because she was blind to a bat. And blind to a certain bat, too.

The churning in his stomach had turned ferocious, so Alucard decided to solve the problem the way he did on the rare occasion that gun didn't fix things. Alucard resorted to the next best thing: sleep. Oh, Alucard loved sleep—when he was comfortable. And this couch, worn down after years of use, creaked, and Alucard could have sworn he felt a nail jabbing his thigh. Alucard happened to glance at Integra, and then something came to mind. Her lap. Of course. The ultimate cushion, warm and rife with interesting scents.

Integra, dazed enough by her headache and bad television, failed to notice the vampire creeping closer and closer to her. It was the perfect time to take advantage of her.

Alucard executed his primitive strategy. He started by nonchalantly lounging on his side (trying to swallow the ominous taste in his mouth), shoulder weight on his elbow, just inches from Sir Integra's thigh. And in one fluid move, he rolled onto his back and placed his head in her lap.

"And what do you think you're doing?" Integra posed her question in such a flat tone it sounded more like a sentence.

"Sleeping." Alucard replied casually.

"Hm." Integra's eyebrows knitted together briefly. "I'm sorry for putting you through this, Alucard."

And then, she began to stroke his wild, wavy hair, slowly, apologetically. Alucard tensed at her touch. Her smell—strong enough for him to taste when he crept close enough, her voice, her looks—all so familiar. But he had not once felt her hands out of their business like tension. For once, they were tender, supple. Alucard took her hand, anything to keep his mind off the nausea, and almost smiled at the soft skin and how her delicate hand seemed molded for his and only his, with every curve and curled finger fitting perfectly in and around Alucard's (sweaty) palms.

"I forgive you, my Master." Alucard mumbled. He inhaled Integra's fragrance slowly, and let loose a sigh of relief when his stomach stilled at the intake of her essence.

* * *

><p>Glasses...I get so dizzy without mine. Please review.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Integra's heartbeat went through her fingertips and resounded in Alucard's empty chest. His skin tingled and his insides quivered with the sensation, the proof of her humanity, reverberating in him.

When Alucard took her hand in his and pressed it to his chest, Integra's composure crumbled. Her expression changed and she shifted in her place and she looked away. But not even Integra, cold as callous as she was, could kick off Alucard off her lap and rip her hand from his grasp—and Alucard knew that. Alucard had a stupid, dreamy smile on his face at that moment, both out of ticklishness from her heartbeat at the rueful, almost sympathetic look on his Master's face. He hadn't seen that look since…well, never.

He also knew that he had an excuse to be needy because he was downright miserable. A sudden warmth pitted in his stomach at the realization that Sir Integra simply didn't want to knock him off her lap—and what a strange feeling it was, the final traces of nausea drowning in waves of bliss. Integra must have felt the same thing at that moment, and surely it was the very same sensation that guided her hands as she stroked his messy hair.

"I feel better." He mumbled. And by that he meant that he felt drunk. Tipsy, due to the meds, bobbing in and out of consciousness, but immensely pleased.

"Good." Integra murmured.

Alucard decided to give her hand a friendly squeeze, which again summoned an itch or something that made her move slightly. Alucard coyly looked up and noted that a flush had started in her neck. He wanted that rich pink color to climb all the way up to her cheeks.

Alucard, with his free hand, looped a strand of her hair round his finger, marveling at how the ends of her long hair curled into Renaissance ringlet. Even more fascinating was the color of her hair—Integra was one of the few people whose hair kept its pale color and thin texture from the years of childhood.

He twirled it round and round and released that same strand, glossy as a ribbon, hypnotized by it gentle bounce as it returned to its place.

And then came the inopportune interruption.

"Sir Integra?"

Integra jolted and sharply turned to see Walter striding into the room.

"Yes, Walter, what is it?" Integra said in a more harsh tone than intended.

"Good news: I found your glasses." Walter said with a small smile as he dropped her pair in her shaking hands.

She ungracefully smashed them onto her face and demanded, "Where did you find them?"

"Well, you see…" Walter cleared his throat, "They were on your bedside table. Underneath various things. But they are found."

"Yes, that reminds me," Integra said, "I'm having dinner with the knights this evening."

"Since when?" Alucard asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's been on my calendar for weeks, so, if you'll excuse me, Alucard—"

Alucard sat up slowly so that his head wouldn't explode. He slowly loosened his grip until Integra's hand slipped out of his just as easily as it had fit, and Integra, hot and bothered, fled the room at once.

###

Well after sunset and more napping (now that Integra was gone, Alucard had her bed to himself), drooling, and hydrocodone, Alucard paced Integra's spacious bathroom, waiting for his queasiness to subside. By now, he was sick of this (literally), but the pain bordered on intolerable, probably because the wisdom teeth had been part of his jawbone for so long. Perhaps he would've felt better if he had some food with his medication, but hospital blood tasted stale and Alucard thought himself too 'gastronomically cultured' for it.

He walked by the mirror and halted when he caught sight of his face, wan and disfigured with swelling. And now, purple bruises bloomed spectacularly on his jaw. He snickered. If he didn't already look like a monster, he looked like one now. Alucard had a feeling that he could clear the local Tesco just by walking in and showing his face.

Integra's bathroom was rather old but large, and, like her bedroom, cluttered. Alucard had no idea she owned so many pairs of suits, all in navy blue, black, green, brown, gray—color that suited (haha, get it?), of course. Because Integra had little interest in her appearance, few bottles of random lotions and substances trashed her counter. Alucard liked that about her—Integra actually didn't give a damn for how she looked. She had a name to uphold. And Integra dedicated herself to that name and the Hellsing Organization. But Alucard wished she'd break from her work habits and simply enjoy life for once. Wishes, unfortunately, did nothing, so it was time for some intervention.

Like now.

By now, close to midnight, she would have returned. Integra rarely stayed out late because she valued every minute of sleep and grew tired of people quickly. Alucard felt pleased that he had been correct in guessing that she had returned, for he found her at her post behind her desk.

Sometimes she seemed less human than he. Integra's solid attention span and robotic efficiency both worried and impressed Alucard. She could give the most callous orders without an inkling of remorse and functioned on little sleep. Integra was a peculiar human, for sure.

"You should take a break." Alucard suggested.

Integra sat up straight in her chair and winced, muttering something under her breath.

"Did I just hear a 'tch', Master?" Alucard inquired in that oily, suave tone he reserved for teasing. Alucard's teasing wasn't lighthearted; it was heavy with innuendos and sexual tension that even Integra, a human, felt radiating from him in waves. By now, she had mastered the ability to conceal her discomfort, but Alucard still felt it emanating from her.

"My back hurts, that's all." Integra said firmly. She lifted her arms into the cool air and stretched, sighing and grimacing as a symphony of clicks sounded from her spine. At twenty two years old, she was much too young for this.

"You're too young." Alucard said in a vaguely sing-song voice.

"My thoughts exactly." Integra harrumphed.

"A little known fact about me, Integra," Alucard always said her name slowly, in a lower tone than the rest of his sentences, as if he wanted to taste her. "Is that I am an _excellent _masseur."

"Is this according to the people you've killed, or is this 'fact' simply a conceited opinion of yourself?" she asked, not looking up from her paperwork.

"I'm sorry, I'm too drugged up to understand fancy answers, Sir Integra." Alucard assumed a terrible, almost offensive British accent. "Yes or no is enough for me. So, what is it, then?"

The sound of her pen against paper as she wrote in her austere cursive continued for a few seconds. Integra put a period at the end and touched the tip of her pin to her lip as she formulated her next sentence. Alucard noted the pen was one of those remarkably expensive ones, and then he noticed her lips. Gently curving, small—and rather pale today. Someday, though, they'd be rich with color.

Alucard placed his hands on the edge of the desk and leaned over her. Integra did not even flinch.

"I have things to do. Leave." she said coldly.

Alucard looked at her skeptically. He folded his arms.

"You'll be more productive if you feel good." Alucard pointed out. He leaned over even further and stooped a little, stretching dangerously close to her, until he heard her breathing and saw the blonde tips of her delicate eyelashes. He drew a slow breath.

"So…what'll it be, Integra?" he said softly.

Integra scowled at him and pressed the pen to her lip, harder this time. She remained unfazed.

"You vampires are so damn persistent." She hissed. Integra flung the pen down on her desk and shoved her papers aside.

"A quick massage can only do good." Alucard purred, stepping around her desk.

Integra folded her arms on the desk and edged forward until she sat at the edge of her seat. She dropped her head on her arms.

Alucard removed her blazer and placed his heavy hands on her shoulders, and he pressed down, feeling for the natural curve of her body and tension in her upper back. Alucard really had no idea what muscle tension felt like—he had never even given a massage before—but he figured rubbing and random pinching and pounding would get the job done.

Alucard felt for the gentle curve of her back, and he marveled at the proportion of her waist to hers hips and ribs—his hands couldn't seem to stray from the cinch of her waist, but any time his touch drifted to the small of her back, he received a firm reprimand from his Master.

"Upper back, Alucard." Integra said sternly. "You have no idea what you're doing, do you?" Integra asked, not even bothering to lift her head from her arms.

After a few ouches and clicks later, Alucard decided to end the massage. He kept it short because he didn't want to accidentally break Integra's back and the longer he had his hands on her the harder the temptation to rip her shirt of pressed down on him.

"Now we're even." Alucard said.

Integra sat up.

"Thank you." She said in her usual, business-like tone. Integra reached for her pen at once.

Alucard nodded. And, surprise—the side effects hit. The blood fled from his face and rushed to his roiling stomach and he felt himself go pale. His smile faded.

"You haven't eaten a single thing, have you?" Integra said, watching as Alucard had to hold the desk firmly to stay up.

"No. Hospital blood tastes like shit." He said, grimacing.

"Idiot." she seethed.

Integra said nothing more and sifted through one of her drawers. She held something that caught the glint of the moon just outside her window and peeled a glove off her hand. Then came the flash of the knife and quiet gasp and the pitter-patter as the drops of her blood stained her desk.

She plucked a handkerchief from that same drawer and wiped her bloody finger all over it, tossing it to Alucard.

"That will do." She grumbled.

If Alucard had no self control, and if he felt slightly better than he did now, he wouldn't ripped the bloody piece of the handkerchief and swallowed it whole. Instead, he sucked all of her blood of it. He nearly dropped to knees in relief at having the taste of human blood in his mouth again. But was it really human? It was the blood of Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, after all. The medley of iron, sugar, and salt in all types of blood satisfied Alucard, but Integra's blood had a certain zing that woke his most latent ardor for the woman before him. Her blood was the best he had ever tasted in his long life. Only his Master's blood would have such a taste, for he would never be able to suck her dry as long as lived, and Alucard would live with that desire until his end. Ah, if only she were charitable enough to offer one more drop.

"Delicious!" Alucard remarked. "Thank you, my Master. Such kindness. Where does it come from?"

"The Hellsing Organization works for God and only God," Integra assumed the flat but forceful tone she always had when talking about her Organization.

Alucard shrugged. Whatever. That didn't really have to do with anything, but Integra's stock answers were broad enough so that they answered almost any question in subtle ways.

"If I could live in this state forever, I would, Integra. To see such humanity from you…it is a privilege that I, your servant, am happy to have." Alucard said warmly.

"You have no discretion when it comes to flattery, persistence, or murder. And even then…" Integra trailed off, the last note of her voice hanging in the small space between them. Integra looked at Alucard over the rims of her rather plain glasses, a reserved, bashful smile spreading on her lips. "And even then, Alucard, I prefer you to humans."

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><p>Please review! Next chapter, well, you'll see what happens...<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

A few uneventful days passed. Integra ran errands and met with other rich, powerful people while Alucard loafed around in the manor. His mood had improved, as Alucard was starting to look like his normal self— he woke that morning with his cheeks back to their normal proportions, and faded bruises leaving yellowish blooms on his jaw. He had even started loitering in her office again.

He was a strange vampire, a quirky vampire. Alucard loved warmth because it was "cozy as hell—literally" but he fostered a natural dislike of sunlight. He liked the night and the moon and all that demonic creatures should love, too, but there was something about hear that pleased him immensely. As of late, he had taken to dragging Integra's pillow and blanket up to her office and sleeping on the ground with the blanket pulled over his face to block light and hold the heat spilling into her office through the great windows behind her.

When Integra happened to look down at him, lounging on his side between a nap, he shot her a wide grin that he comically paired with waggling eyebrows. Clearly he was pleased to be able to use his face muscles again. Gleaming, white...and then something came to mind.

"I just remembered, Alucard." Integra said slowly. "The surgeons said you were supposed to keep up with dental hygiene. Have you been following that?"

"Since I haven't eaten anything solid," Alucard grimaced, "No."

Of course. His excuse went right over her head. He hadn't bothered brushing his pearly whites because it hurt too much. Integra knew most males were babies for pain (but compared to Integra, who had a godly pain tolerance, anyone was pansy), and Alucard was no exception, even though he was a vampire and sometimes enjoyed pain here and there. Sometimes.

"Well," Integra made a face, "Let's take care of that now, shall we?"

She was a stickler for rules, and that was a fact, just as it was fact that her rule-efficiency had practically been encoded in her DNA. Aside from that, Integra didn't need a vampire incapacitated by complications such as infections. Both she and Alucard itched to get some real work done, because they relied on each other to purge England of impure things.

Speaking of impure things...Alucard had given up on personal hygiene as well. He had laid around in her bed long enough, and it showed—he hadn't bothered dealing with his messy hair or changing out of his clothes, though he had shaved at some point recently, as a vague scent of aftershave lingered on him. Even then, whenever he made his debut in her office, Integra's first thought was that a homeless man had somehow wandered into her manor.

And the two ended up in his bathroom, a cold, chilly, dank space in the basement of the manor. Now, Integra didn't want to force him to brush his teeth, but when she held out his toothbrush to him Alucard simply stared blankly at it, as if it wasn't even there. In others, he completely ignored it. She didn't really want to force him to brush his teeth, but it was good for him. And if he wouldn't do it himself, the she would. Alucard would do the same for her, she thought as she squeezed a ribbon of striped toothpaste on his battered toothbrush.

"Are you really...?" Alucard didn't even bother finishing his question.

"It's not too late to for a raging infection. So open up." Integra firmly rapped the toothbrush against his cheek.

"_Ow_." He shot her a look and opened his mouth.

An impressive array of sharp teeth glistened before Integra. She hardly knew where to begin. Gripping the toothbrush by its flimsy tip so that Alucard would not be able to bite her, she started brushing, slowly, and eventually hooked her finger around the corner of his mouth to get a better look and at all his teeth. They were truly terrifying, pointy, tapering—all that a carnivore need.

"Thank you for listening to me about not eating solid things or leaving the manor," Integra said out of the blue as she scrubbed his fearsome molars.

Alucard didn't respond because, well, there was a toothbrush in his mouth, and there was enough lather in his pooling in his cheeks that if he tried to talk he'd up spitting all over Integra. Integra was relieved that he hadn't tried any stunts yet.

Alucard pointed to the sink.

Integra retracted the toothbrush while Alucard spit in her sink.

"You're welcome, Integra." Alucard said with a nod. "I feel no need to leave the manor. Your bed is supremely comfortable."

And her pillow too, apparently. He hadn't let go of it yet. By now, Integra had grown used to slightly mediocre pillows. She had even grown used to his sleeping habits of hogging the bed.

Sometimes, Integra suffered from mild insomnia. She would lie awake for hours pondering the future of her Organization and her risky position as its leader. There were times when a simple bump in the night provoked Integra to whip her pistol out from under her pillow. Other nights she'd pace her room with all the lights on, waiting for a strange sound, heart beating in anticipation of a perpetrator.

But now, with Alucard not even an arm's reach away, Integra drifted off to sleep before she even had a chance to mull over her work duties. His presence cast a calm feeling over her.

"Have you ever considered becoming a dentist?" Alucard turned to her. He looked rather…bamboozled. Confused. Suspicious, even.

Integra froze.

"It has never even crossed my mind." Integra said, blinking a few times. She felt somewhat flattered.

"Hm." Alucard shrugged. "I'm not in pain when you brush my teeth."

"I can't wait until you're off the medication." Integra muttered, resisting a smile.

"And I wish I had my wisdom teeth back." Alucard said with a glib sigh.

"It's a small price to pay compared to what others pay for serving this Organization." Integra huffed. "Anyone who sacrifices his life for the Hellsing Organization is not a monster but an agent of God," she said resolutely. And then, looking up at Alucard, "But you and I are both monsters and human."

"I suppose," Alucard said thoughtfully, crossing his legs. He was finally able to smirk without feeling his facial muscles rip. "Never thought you'd admit to such a thing, though, Integra."

"I cannot deny what is true." She said with a short sigh.

Oh, really? That was practically the woman's hobby. Perhaps if she removed those stupid glasses and used her analytical skills on herself and on the vampire who stood before her, she'd get it. Then an idea, courtesy of the minty taste in his mouth (mint stimulates the brain, right?), came to mind.

"Master, how bad is your eyesight?" Alucard asked nonchalantly, leaning against the marble sink.

"Awful." She harrumphed. "I can hardly see your face without them on."

Before Integra even had a chance to block his hand from snatching her glasses, they were tucked in his pocket, and before she could object, Alucard had already started the execution of his idea.

"But glasses make your eyesight worse, you see." Alucard chuckled. "They make you blind to obvious things."

"Alucard, I need my glasses." Integra said firmly. "I have work to do."

"No, you don't." he said quietly.

Alucard leaned over her and moved closer and closer until he smelled her warm breath.

Then he had a stunning view of her clear countenance. Her wispy eyelashes, criss-crossing and free, and her severe, stern eyebrows and every silvery blonde strand of hair that had fallen gracefully from its place when he had removed her glasses. Alucard, by invading Integra's personal space, had disturbed the equilibrium of her psyche—Integra's irritation had turned to anticipation, her frown had lifted, her lips had parted, ready to speak, but the reprimand refused to sneak past her teeth. Not even Alucard could pick out commands from her short little breaths, as the two had reached a point of mutuality.

Alucard, as the instigator, knew what would come next. Conversely, Integra knew it would happen in a few seconds and, living up to her reputation of intelligence, knew that she had neither the will nor the strength, now that she had been stunned into stillness of the body and soul, and she could do nothing about it—rather, him, her vampire. No matter how hard Alucard tried to lock his stare onto and into her eyes—a piercing shade of blue—his gaze slipped to those glistening pink lips. Yes, their color, their shine, the tips of Integra's teeth behind them—oh, a wonderful sight— drew Alucard in near enough so that he felt his own breath against him. His eyes fell closed just as he touched his lips to hers.

He waited for a slap or gunshot or other violent gesture, but all he felt was her heartbeat, fast and fluttery, pounding against his lips, and not two seconds after the first impact, Integra loosely wrapped her arms around his neck.

The smooth contours of Integra's lips fit against Alucard's so well, he wished they'd be stuck like that forever. Alas, he became acutely aware of her mortal lungs and broke the lock only for a breath.

"I see what you mean now." She said in a breathy, quiet voice. Her eyes remained closed.

"Seeing stars, are you?" Alucard said teasingly.

Integra nodded slowly. Then, Alucard noticed something. Just under her lashes, resting against her pale cheeks, he noticed virgin tears.

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><p>I should get my wisdom teeth out...it's between that or going to Miami. Well. Review?<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

"I know it was good, Integra, but that's nothing compared to what I can do to you." Alucard smirked.

"It's not that." She said. "Idiot."

"Then what is it?" Alucard knew, for a fact, that it took a truly cataclysmic event for Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing to become misty eyed.

"Why me, of all people?" she asked.

Ah. Not even Integra could shake off the habit unique to women and only women of asking ambiguous questions.

"Well, you're my Master." Alucard said simply. He put a finger to lip in thought. "Aside from the fact I am obligated to serve you…all I have is you, Master. Since I don't have my wisdom teeth anymore."

Integra slumped against the wall, eyes closed, as if she had died.

"My God." She said, chuckling under her breath. "Light me a cigar, will you?

Alucard did as told and gently wedged the smoldering cigar between her lips. The way her lips fell around the cigar made him want to kiss her again and again, and now that they had turned a nice shade of pink after their contact…

"Thank you." She mumbled. She finally opened her eyes. The tears were gone. Had Alucard imagined them?

"Any time, Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing." Alucard said with a tight little smile. Ah, that name. Long enough to capture her essence and rhythmic enough for Alucard to taste her heartbeat just under the name. It sounded especially nice when spoken slowly.

A pleasant silence came between them for a moment.

"So, now what?" Alucard said, making himself comfortable on her desk.

"Well, how many doses of painkillers do you have left?" Integra asked.

"About that." Alucard snickered. "I haven't taken my meds in days, you see."

Integra, at first, had no reaction. But then her eyebrows sank into a deep frown. And when she noticed Alucard's obscenely large grin, her scowl sharpened.

"Then…" she trailed off. "That—that moment we just shared had nothing to do with…with strange side effects?"

"Nope." Alucard giggled. "That was all me."

"Dear God." Integra said faintly. "I thought you were just needy and fooling around because you felt so sick. So I indulged."

Alucard shook his head.

"See, you miss the most obvious things, Master." Alucard said. "But don't try to deny it. And don't try to deny your feelings for me, either, because…"

Alucard gently lifted her hand by the wrist and wriggled his thumb a few centimeters into her glove. Ah ha—her pulse. Fast, fluttery, against the pad of his thumb.

"You have a pulse and I don't." Alucard said. "The pulse, Integra, is the ultimate giveaway." Then he let his voice fall into its rich lower register, and he leaned closer to Integra as he continued. "In human heartbeat there is anger, sorrow, excitement, fear, desire, and love. And right now, your pulse is fast. So tell me, Integra," Alucard brushed his lips against her jaw. "What is it?"

"Well, Alucard," Integra said, "I don't kiss and tell." She wouldn't let herself fall into his trance. All he was wanted was an extra kiss. He ventured into the unspeakable now, as he tried to lure Integra to the bedroom.

"In that case," he grumbled. "I'm going to bed."

"When will you return my pillow to me?" Integra asked.

"Never." Alucard growled. He lumbered to the threshold, waiting for her blessing, his cue to leave.

"Sleep well." She said perfunctorily.

For now, the quickest way to have revenge on Integra would be to sleep on her side of the bed, and that was precisely what Alucard did.

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><p>The (awkward and abrupt-I think I covered most stuff last chapter) End. Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading.<p> 


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